So I never noticed this before, mostly because who the fuck remembers Brad Werenka, but tell me this isn’t the first thing you thought of when you saw his picture:
Yup.
Werenka only played 45 games for your “Young Guns”, but his name starts with a W, so shut up, it’s Brad Werenka Wednesday. Plus people laugh when recalling him as he was part of “the glory days”, so let’s all let it go and chuckle and cry and reminisce about that time Brad Werenka did a thing (I don’t remember if Brad Werenka actually ever did do a thing)
*******
We’re suing Trevor Kidd! Everyone, get in on this. If you were a fan of the Flames in the 90′s, you are eligible to sue Trevor Kidd for mental trauma. I’m assuming.
This idea was proposed to me by friend of Loob @VitaminK_Wave, after I mentioned how I’m “clearly not in the NHL because I paid attention at the Trevor Kidd Goalie School when I was 13″
In addition to that, Curtis McElhinney was at that school with me, and it can be implied that the work of Trevor Kidd is the reason why McElhinney’s development was stunted, and therefore why he’s never been able to elevate his game past barely trusted journeyman backup goaltender with a very hard name to say/spell.
The implications of this phenomenon run deep, chums. Had I made it to the NHL instead of being a career B league goaltender, which clearly I would have if not for my parents wasting their hard earned money on a Trevor Kidd “school”, I wouldn’t be here writing this blog today, and you, noble Loobian, would not have read this shit, subsequently making you dumber, and hurting your eyes on what some have said is too harsh a background in contrast to white text (I’m still not changing it, donkeys). We’re all victims here, and Trevor Kidd needs to be held accountable. Furthermore, we should be able to sue a guy for having to awkwardly look at a guy who has never been able to center a goatee on his chin:
Look at this guy? Don’t you just want to take his fucking money in a court of law?
If you have any applicable reason as to why you’d like to sue Trevor Kidd, leave a comment. We can collect all of them and start up a class action suit. I’ll keep you updated on our case as it builds.
Yeah, and any lawyers out there? Let’s talk.
********
What’s the deal with the 8 pm start tonight? Is the idea to play a later game so all the young kids on the Avalanche can’t play in the third period because it’s past their bedtime?
Your Calgary Flames need this win in the worst way. Colorado is undefeated on the road, 1st in the Northwest, 3rd in PP%, and generally pretty fucking good to start the season. The Flames, on the other hand, we all know have been Glee bad, and there’s no better way to turn your fortunes around than to beat up a bunch of kids who look better than you.
And while it’s not exactly going to be as easy as that cheerleader even you could nail in high school, there’s no reason to think they couldn’t. Matt Duchene is struggling, naturally, because I picked him in my Fantasy Draft, and is in danger of losing some of his ice time to the Gabriel Landeskogs of the world. And is that guy for real? We all knew Landeskog was going to be good, but this early? Why can’t someone other than the Flames draft the Hnat Dominichellis sometime? Oh, and Semyon Varlamov and his improbable cloud of awesome has to burst eventually, his career output does not validate this level of goaltending. Not yet. He has to fall back to earth eventually, because we all really want to chirp the Avs GM for making that seemingly RIDICULOUS trade to acquire Varlamov in the first place.
You have to figure eventually Iginla busts out and has a By The Power of Greyskull awesome game that sets him off into that solid 600 game hot streak that he goes on every year when we start to criticize his play, and maybe if Olli Jokinen has figured out how to aim all of his shots a quarter inch to the left, he’ll the post 5-6 times less a game.
What if Derek Smith is secretly really good and the reason why we haven’t seen it yet is because he’s in the middle of a long practical joke? What if tonight is the night he lets us in on the punchline?
What if Brent Sutter knows how to coach at an NHL level?
I’m saying there’s not necessarily a lot to be hopeful about, but I’m going to be anyway. When things have started as bad as they have, all we can do is dream about what might be. Stay thirsty, my friends.
PS. Hey anyone at the game today, see if you can find Mikael Backlund in the press box and tell him his girlfriend is ugly. She’s not, I’m just curious to see how that goes down. Bonus points if you can say it in Swedish.
This is the Book of Loob, which I guess you knew, so this bio is about complete. Except for that part where you can follow The Book Of Loob on Facebook, Twitter, or I guess you could do the e-mail thing, if you're still doing that.
Posted in Hlushko Hodgepodge |
